A friend of mine died alone a few months ago.
He didn’t have to. He chose to. Be alone, that is. His last several months were spent in a downward spiral of discouragement, depression and ultimately death. I believe the Lord was merciful in taking him when he did.
Today would have been his birthday. He would have been sixty today. But he’s not.
We will all be there. That place that is dark and sad. Where we don’t just feel like we aren’t winning, we know we aren’t winning. If you’ve been there, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t yet, you will someday.
When you get there, tell someone. Find a friend and bare your heart to them. A friend will listen and tell you what you need to do. When they tell you, do what they say.
It’ll help you to just follow what you are told. You’ll get out of it.
And hopefully live to celebrate sixty.
Joel Stiff's Adventure 
2015 in its entirety has been a struggle for me; just like your friend.
Sorry for your struggles, Darrell. You are on my prayer list. I hear there’s a church at the end of your street that would love to be a help. 🙂
A heartfelt thought.