Joel Stiff's Adventure

 

Yesterday’s post was one I thought was a dud. I have been terribly busy. My thoughts have been scattered. I just didn’t think it was very good. Ironically, there were numerous people who expressed their appreciation for it.

Conversely, there are times I feel like I have written a near masterpiece. Look out Bill Shakespeare, there is a new man in town. On those days, my views are down and no one even “likes” it let alone compliments it.

The truth is, we do not know which work we do is going to make a difference with people.

The old saying goes, just throw the spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks. Much of our work is just that way.

Self doubt permeates all that we do. But if we never stick our neck out, we will never make a difference.

I love that the greatest batters in baseball are .350 hitters. That means that they only get on base one-third of the time. So a one-third success rate puts you among the best in the world. I can do that!

Stop worrying about how good it is and whether or not someone will like it and just put it out there.

Ecclesiastes 11:6: In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand: for thou knowest not whether shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good.

 

 

 

I remember reading a book when I was younger entitled, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff”.

It was a simple reminder to keep things in perspective.

When Shannon and I were first married, we were discussing a few frustrations we were having with each other with my mom. I remember her saying that we were getting all upset about a bunch of stuff that was really no big deal. She even used the words, don’t sweat the small stuff. Our frustrations were so small, in fact, that I couldn’t remember them with a gun to my head today.

Most of what we worry about will not even be remembered in a month, let alone a year.

We normally consider this in regard to worries, but it also applies to achievement.

Our narcissistic tendencies get us all worked up about the importance of what we are doing. Now, I am a firm believer in living your life with purpose and to make a difference. But how often do we fail to enjoy our life’s work, because of our ambition. What’s the point of making a difference if you fail to do it with joy. If you ruin your marriage or have children that walk on pins and needles around you, what have you really accomplished?

I remember a conversation I had with someone about priorities in Christian ministry. He argued that ministry had to come before family. I argued (and still do) that you cannot prioritize the callings of God in your life. If God calls you to ministry and to be a husband or father, one of those is not any more important than the others. They all must be satisfied. 

The first three attributes of the fruit of the Spirit are love, joy and peace. And if that doesn’t describe how we are going about life, we are doing it wrong.

Case in point: I just reread through this and came to the conclusion that it’s clumsy and disjointed. But, I’m not going to sweat it and I’m going to hit “publish” anyway.

 

It didn’t take me long to start noticing how people’s choices affected their lives.

Growing up, I watched different family members and friends and their behaviors. I noticed the obvious connection between good decisions and blessings. I also saw the bad decisions that resulted in pain. Common sense dictated to choose the path that led to long term benefits over short term pleasure.

Last week when I mentioned the problem with emphasizing minors over majors, these are a few of the majors to which I was referring.

1. Pride

Believing that I am the center of the universe will destroy my life. Having the expectation that other people put my needs above all else will result in the loss of my real friends and surround me with people who refuse to tell me the truth about myself. Proud people are not grateful people and gratitude is the root of real joy. Pride destroys relationships and the ones it doesn’t destroy become completely dysfunctional. The person who doesn’t realize that the world isn’t here for them will come to that harsh realization when it abandons them all together.

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. – Proverbs 16:18

2. Misplaced sex

Sex before marriage, sex while married but with someone other than your spouse and pornography will destroy your life. Married women who are flirtatious and married men who push the boundaries of appropriateness with other women are looking for trouble. God’s plan is perfect. Find a member of the opposite sex you can love for a lifetime, marry them and enjoy the physical relationship until your heart is content. Outside of that, some self control is necessary.

But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away. – Proverbs 6:32, 33 

3. Greed

The love of money and things will destroy us. When we get to the place where we will lie, cheat and steal to get what we want, we will end up losing it all. In the Bible, Barabas was a robber. Today, we know the likes of Bernie Madoff. It doesn’t matter to what degree you sell out, you will lose your friends, maybe your family and possibly your freedom.

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. – I Timothy 6:10: 

4. Getting high

The heroin addict in the gutter is looked down upon, while he social drinker / closet alcoholic is a sophisticated man who knows his scotch. This is what I like to call hypocrisy. This need to escape reality by getting drunk and high is a weakness in character and only creates problems. It doesn’t solve them. 

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise. – Proverbs 20:1: 

It’s pretty simple, actually. Live clean, be honest in your dealings, stick to the one you married and keep your feet on the ground. 

After thousands of years, we are still falling for the same old traps. Somebody has to be smart enough to see the danger and avoid it.

 

 

 

 

Read the Sunday comics.

If you don’t have time to read them, you really need to read them.

If you’re too busy to read them, you really need to read them.

If you don’t think they’re funny, you really need to lighten up and you really need to read them.

Especially read Peanuts and B.C. and then find the six differences in Hocus Focus.

It’ll make your life better.

 

 

Nicole turned fifteen today.

That’s her in the picture. On the left. She wasn’t fifteen there. She is the age I remember her the most. The age she still is in my head.

Today, we ran a half marathon together. We stuck together until about mile three, when I needed to stop for a restroom break. 

I watched her continue on. When I resumed running, she was a bit ahead of me. She kept pulling farther and farther away until I couldn’t see her anymore.

Being her birthday, I couldn’t help but see the parallel. Her mom and I have been loving her, training her and preparing her for the day she will one day go out into the world on her own. She is pulling away from us. 

Not in a bad way, but in the way she is supposed to.

She is an incredible young lady of whom her mom and I couldn’t be more pleased and proud. We have no worries or concerns about her ability to follow the Lord and do what she knows is right.

That doesn’t mean we are happy about it. 

Although we are excited for her future, our home will not be the same without her. I realize we are a bit premature in these feelings, but we knew this day would come the first time we held her in our arms. Life with our children is a gradual separation. 

Just before mile nine, I saw her grey hoodie. She was tired and walking so I had the opportunity to catch up. We were able to finish together. I was able to help her finish strong.

I couldn’t help but see the parallel again.

She’s not gone yet and she still needs mom and dad for a few more years.

That makes it a very happy day for me too.

 

In eight grade, our choir class was taught this song.

Whenever my life gets to be a bit busy, it comes to mind.

Do you ever have days where you attempt to pack too many things in?

I did that again today. The day started with eight errands before 9:00. Everywhere I went, I either encountered another delay or was sent somewhere else to get what I needed.

I was getting frustrated. Frustrated to the point of angry, but there was nothing I could do about it.

After I calmed down, I remembered that it’s times like these that I just need to slow down.

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy.

I’ll catch you cats later.

 

I have written about the need to keep silent more often than we speak. 

Today, I want to go in the other direction.

Sometimes you need to talk.

Sometimes you need to get together with a friend, a group of friends or your family and just chat.

Talk about nothing in particular. Talk about whatever interests you at the moment. Tell stories.

We have enjoyed a great week with some out of town family. We just sat and told stories.

This evening, we had dinner with some close friends and just talked.

When is the last time you just stopped to sit down and enjoy conversation with someone you consider a friend?

“…a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;” Ecclesiastes 3:7b

 

Our half marathon is in three days.

Today was our final long run in preparation for it.

We ran eight miles. If you can run eight, you can run thirteen.

My legs hurt. Every step broke down the muscle tissue. We now take two days for rest and healing. We will then be fully prepared to run the thirteen.

In spite of not training up to that distance, we will be able to hit it. Part of the training process is teaching your mind that your body is capable. It needs as much training as the body.

Every load we carry, regardless of the area of life, strengthens us to an ability we will not know until it is tested.

It is there, but if we never reach into new territory, we will not know it exists.

 

Some days, you just don’t have it.

Yesterday, our training program called for a seven mile run. We began as usual. It typically takes a mile or so for my legs, shins in particular, to loosen up. Today after two, they weren’t giving. Nicole’s knees were really bothering her. Winston, on the other hand, was running better than ever. After a mere two and a half miles, we called it a day.

We just didn’t have it.

Some days are like that. You absolutely don’t have what you need to get the job done. This usually means that you need rest. Physical or mental rest is required to do better.

Some would criticize and say we quit. We should have just pushed on and finished anyway, they say.

Ignore them. They do the very same thing. Some will insist they never quit. They are liars. Everyone has days, times or tasks that they walk away from. It’s often smart to do so.

A sharp axe cuts wood far better than a dull one.

 

My cousin Jeff is in town.

He and his family attended our church for Easter services. Jeff and I come from similar church backgrounds, but in recent years many changes have occurred within the ranks.

This prompted him to ask me an interesting question, “Do I still consider myself a fundamentalist?”

This has been our identity for many years. We are Baptist but have no denominational ties. We believe in the fundamentals of the faith. We also align ourselves loosely with other churches of like doctrine and position.

Through the years, however, the independence of our “movement” has become increasingly difficult. Friends and acquaintances began to cross boundaries and attempt to police other pastors and churches. 

The norm became an emphasis on minor issues while paying lip service to major issues.

For example, a pastor would preach on insignificant, non biblical issues such as open toed shoes on ladies only to be caught in an affair with a woman in the church. Another may harp on the importance of a young man’s polo shirt being tucked in as the pastor is actively engaged in embezzling funds from the church.

The scriptural comparison is Jesus’ rebuke of the Pharisees accusing them of straining at gnats while swallowing camels. 

The absurdity and hypocrisy boils the blood.

When confronted with such disappointment from leadership, some choose to walk away all together. This is quite obviously not a wise choice. Truth is still truth even when trampled upon by the ones who should be upholding it instead of making a mockery of it. 

Instead, we focus on what the scripture teaches clearly. We establish our obedience on commands, live according to biblical principles and understand our preferences to be guided by the Holy Spirit in our lives alone. 

I would call my current position “Relaxed Fundamentalism”.

I am no longer interested in the whims of every mean spirited preacher on a power trip with an axe to grind.

I will pastor my church as the Lord leads. I am probably a bit too laid back for many of the more restrictive brethren, but it is not their job to judge another man’s servant.

In the end, you may see me with my shirt untucked while taking my kids trick or treating, but you can trust that the offerings are safe and the only woman I sleep with is my wife.