Joel Stiff's Adventure

Never argue on the internet.

So, I get up this morning and find that my children haven’t devoured every grain of cereal in the house – win!

I go to the cupboard and find a bowl that they haven’t dirtied – win!

I open the box and find enough cereal for a full bowl – win!

I open the fridge and find that there are only two spoons full of milk – lose!

I grab my wallet and keys and drive up to 7-11. I grab the gallon of milk and check the date. It looks like 08-08 to my forty-two year old morning eyes. I get it home and prepare to open when I see the date in good light and it reads 08-06, yesterday’s date. I think that only one day beyond the sell by date means it should still be ok. I open the cap and take a whiff, no good. I take a taste just in case, no good – lose!

Back in the car and up to 7-11 I go. I am allowed to swap the bad gallon out for a good gallon. This one is dated 08-20. I am good to go – win!

I get home, pour my milk and am enjoying my Fruity Pebbles as I type this – win!

That’s a lot of hassle for a bowl of cereal.

It could have been worse. I could have planted the grain, raised and harvested it. Cared for the cow that I would milk. Homogenize said milk. Develop a reliable method of refrigeration. Concoct a recipe to transform my grain into Fruity Pebbles. Grow a tree that I could use a limb from to hollow out a bowl and spoon. Then, watch over my shoulder as I eat it to ensure I am not eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

I used to get annoyed if things didn’t go perfectly as expected. then I came to two realizations that helped me settle down. First, who do I think I am that I believe everything should go exactly as I want it to? Second, I have it a lot better than many who have come before me or many do even now.

So I walk into Meijer’s the other day and something isn’t right.

The store is clean and well lit. The merchandise is stacked neatly on the shelves. The clientele is the usual group of soccer moms, elderly ladies, men picking up various items and children everywhere.

But something seems off.

Then I realize that over the speakers they are playing the old 80’s rock song, “Don’t Pay the Ferryman.”

It is a horrible song even by rock standards. For it to be playing in an ordinary family department store was just out of place.

Meijers is trying to create a certain environment in their stores, but whoever has allowed this programming has really thrown a kink in the plan.

Some things just don’t belong together and Don’t Pay the Ferryman doesn’t belong in Meijers.

Seth Godin calls this a meatball sundae.

So if we want a certain result, we have to make sure that everything we are allowing in is going to bring us to that desired result.

If not, its probably better left out.

Today I went to Barnes and Noble to browse the book selection. I still read books.

There was a lady talking to a little girl who was crying. She had become separated from her mother. The store isn’t too large, but with all of the stacks of books, for a short little girl it becomes a maze.

I heard the lady ask the little girl to follow her to the counter and they could ask the clerk to page her mother.

The little girl cried out passionately, “No!”

I’m not sure why she objected. Maybe she was embarrassed that she was lost. Maybe she felt like her mother would be upset if she had her name called over the loudspeaker. Maybe she felt like she would get in trouble for having gotten separated.

Regardless, she didn’t want to do the necessary thing that would solve her problem.

I can be like that.

When I am in trouble or afraid, I neglect the very thing that would solve my problem.

Other people may tell me the answer I need. I may already know what I need to do in my own heart. But I still neglect to take action.

When I find myself there, nothing will change until I decide to overcome the fear and do what needs to be done.

I like corn and potatoes.

I love snickers and pringles.

I will eat, but do not crave spinach and asparagus.

The best thing for my body is the spinach and asparagus.

The worst is the snickers and pringles.

The corn and potatoes is better than the snickers and pringles, but still not best.

We feed our minds just like we feed our bodies.

As Christians, we strive to keep the snickers and pringles out of our minds.

But have we only replaced them with corn and potatoes?

John the Baptist was weird.

He wore clothes made out of camel’s skin and ate bugs.

He started preaching in the desert and dunking people under water.

God used him tremendously.

Just because you are not like everyone else, doesn’t mean you have to change to be used.

God can use you exactly the way you are.

He may have even made you the way you are so that He could use you in a unique way.

And changing would defeat that purpose.

Tenacity equals care.

Sticking it out equals care.

The wife who cares sticks with the marriage through tough times.

The parent who cares sticks with the child through rebellious stages.

The employee who cares sticks with the business even when it is struggling.

The pastor who cares sticks with the church when it is having difficulty.

The mechanic who cares makes a project out of a car others would junk.

The entrepreneur who cares continues to work at her idea when others would give up.

The supervisor who cares works through tough times with employees rather than fight them.

The counselor who cares continues to meet even when there seems to be no progress.

Tenacity equals care.

You’ve heard the one about the grandson who rubbed limburger cheese into his grandfather’s mustache?

Everywhere the grandfather went smelled. He decided that the whole world stunk.

If I have a problem with everyone, it probably isn’t everyone that is the problem.

The problem is with me.

And since I can’t change anyone, I must change myself.

Since I am the problem anyhow, I am the one who needs to change.

Do you need to wash your mustache?

The old adage is, “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.”

The saying comes from a time when a horse may be given as a gift, but the recipient was so picky about what they were receiving that they would check the horse’s teeth to see if the animal was desirable.

A recipient is to simply be grateful and accept the gift regardless.

A friend brought to my attention a new trend for high school graduates. They have begun registering for college gifts at various retailers.

Of course, the retailers are the ones behind all of this, but people are more than happy to jump on the bandwagon.

If I choose to buy a graduate a gift, it will be one of my choosing.

It is something personal from me to the grad and if the gift isn’t good enough, please let me know. I will be sure to forgo troubling you any further with gifts that are not to your liking.

I remember throwing papers at twelve, mowing lawns at thirteen, working Arby’s at fourteen, making burgers for McDonald’s at sixteen, washing dishes at seventeen. This gave me the money I needed to buy all of the things I needed for college.

Then once at college, working two and sometimes three jobs to pay my bills while carrying eighteen to twenty-one hours a semester.

It is no wonder our kids are graduating university and moving back to mom and dad’s without ambition.

We never made them work for anything and we don’t know how to throw them out of the nest.

Flap your wings and fly, baby, or hit the ground with a splat.

Welcome to reality.

I like the convenience of cars. They get me to where I want to go.

I don’t like to be inconvenienced by my car. It seems lately I have been dealing with more mechanical failures than usual.

Because I am unenthusiastically frugal, I do most of the repairs myself. To say that I am a shade tree mechanic would be giving me too much credit. I’m sure the tree or even the shade could turn a wrench better than I most days.

The thing I dislike about wrenching the most is the unforeseen hiccups. The nut that seems welded in place, the space just a little too small for my hand or the angle that my body refuses to contort to reach because I don’t have a proper jack.

Myself and others have groaned about engineers being required to work on their products to help their design process become more mechanic friendly.

A car is a whole ‘nother matter once you pop the hood.

I find the same phenomena present in organizations.

Most people love what the organization does for them. The end result is always pleasing to the average individual. But once in a while, we want to see what is under the hood. We start probing and asking questions. We wonder why it wasn’t designed this way or that way. Why was this material chosen for this job instead of another.

Truthfully, most of the time, the design is just fine. It was the best the manufacturer was able to come up with at the time of production. As new materials and technologies make themselves available, processes are improved.

But if we are not careful, we begin to scrutinize the process so much that the organization is unable to please us. We are sure that it could be and should be done different, better or to our way of thinking.

Before long, we are dissatisfied with our car and ready to trade it in for something better.

The reality is that the same process can be replicated with the new car. If you probe long enough, you will always find something that doesn’t meet your approval.

Most of the time, it is best to leave the hood latched and just drive it.