Joel Stiff's Adventure

My dad was acquaintances with a big teddy bear of a guy named Bud.  He came across a little gruff, but from what I recall, he was as nice as could be.  Bud was a smart businessman who invested in real estate throughout the city of Flint.  He sold us a home through land contract or as some put it, owner financing.  We would now be living on Ivanhoe Avenue on the far east side of the city.

We went to look at the house and it was what a newspaper ad would call “a handyman’s dream.”  At times, it was my dad’s nightmare.  I’m sure my parents saw the house for what it could be someday and not for what it was at the time.  It was sided with cedar shake that was painted black and trimmed out in yellow.  Many of the windows were propped open with empty wine bottles.

Inside, the house looked as though the interior decorator was high on LSD.  Every popular color of the sixties and seventies was used.  The item that sticks out the most was the red, orange and black shag carpet that ran throughout the whole house.  When I was older, one chore given to me was vacuuming that carpet.  My mom wanted that shag to stand up and so we vacuumed in a way that made it stand up.  I vaguely remember a phase where she raked it with a wooden leaf rake bought for just that purpose.

It was quite a sight, but it was ours for the monthly payment to Bud of only $180.00.  My dad went right to work on the place.  Before we  moved in, I remember going to the house with him to do some yard clean up.  He must have been growing on me, because it was he and I alone that went.  Our yard was the highlight of the location as far as I was concerned.  Flint, Michigan is the birthplace of General Motors.  During the early part of the twentieth century, workers from all around flooded to our city to work in the auto factories.  Developers came in and started building houses for this huge influx of families.  The tract housing is still quite prevalent today.  Houses with identical footprints and identical floor plans were lined up one after the other.  Much of the city is even gridlike with north/south and east/west street layouts.  But our house was different.  It sat on two and a half city lots and at one point was two apartments.  The front yard was lined with four mature boxelder trees.  The back yard was closed in by three different neighbor’s garages and fences.  The west side had a thick six foot high row of hedges that my dad would eventually shape and trim on a regular basis.  Two fully grown apple trees were also on this side.  I would loathe them until they were cut down.  It was my job to rake and dispose of the fallen apples every time I had to cut the yard.  The east side was a nice rectangular lawn that we called the side yard.  A lot of football and baseball was played in the side yard.  The driveway was two car widths, but with only a one car stand alone garage at the end of it.  Our yard was the envy of the neighborhood.

Our first trip to work at the house had my dad and I cutting down some brush at the back of the side yard.  I was only six at the time, so I’m not sure how much I helped.  I can see him working to clear the brush and bushes out.  I can see myself getting in the way.  I must have benefitted him somehow because after we were done, we stopped by the drive thru Sunshine party store for a pop and I was rarely given pop.  For those who may not know, these stores were small stores that had a ridiculously high peaked roof with yellow plastic shingling.  There was a set of sliding glass doors on each side of the building.  One would simply drive right up to this sliding glass door and roll down your window.  The clerk would holler at you and ask what you wanted.  You would tell them and they would yell out the price.  You would then tell them what denomination of bill you were paying with and they would ring it up to get you your change.  They would bring the items and change to you in your car and take your bill, transaction complete.  Let me give you an example:

(Car pulls up to store)

Clerk: “What can I get you?”

Customer? “Yeah, I’ll take a Budweiser Jumbo, a pack of Marlboro Reds, an eight pack of Tab and a $100,000 bar.”

Clerk: “That’ll be $6.25.”

Customer: “Out of ten.”

(Clerk walks out to car with all of the merchandise in a Hamady sack)

Clerk: “Here you go. $3.75 is your change.”

Customer: “Thanks.” and drives away.

For the record, a jumbo is a 40 ounce bottle of beer.  Soda is called pop and used to be sold in cartons of eight, sixteen ounce glass bottles.  Tab was pop for grandmothers.  100 Grand bars used to be called $100,000 bars.  And a Hamady sack was a thick brown paper sack that you would get twenty of whenever you went grocery shopping at Hamady Bros. grocery store.  Everyone I knew used one to carry whatever they needed wherever they needed to go.  My dad used to pop popcorn from his air popper into them.  I used to even carry my brother around in one when he was little enough.

So anyways, on this hot day of cutting down brush, my dad swung through the Sunshine store to get us both a cold drink.  I chose a Tahitian Treat which was a carbonated fruit punch.  I still have one now and again.

This was the first of many trips to the house and to that little Sunshine store.

This is the way I remember it.

God saw fit to place me in Flint, Michigan on January 15th, 1972 at 7:49 pm.  I’ve always been a bit of a night person.

My mom, Sharon, was a courageous sixteen year old who decided to live up to her responsibilities.  We started out living with my grandparents,  John and Arleah Wilkins, my two uncles, Bill and Gary and my aunt, Donna.  I’m sure it was crowded, but my memories are of it being a blast.  When I wasn’t busy pleading with my teenage housemates to flip me in the air, I was occupied looking out the screen door at the activity on our dead end dirt road or watching Popeye on our twenty five inch console tv.

They tell me I was spoiled.  Being the first grandchild and surrounded by so many fun and loving people, I’m sure there was a temptation to spoil me.  Who could resist someone as cute as me anyways?  However, I’m certain I was not.  I was simply good at selling people on why I should have my way.

Our house was a beehive with neighborhood kids popping in and out at all times.  I recall one of them named Ira.  When I tried to say it, it came out as “Wa” and Ira was known as Uncle Wa.  The street was one of those places where everyone knew each other.  Even my grandmother’s friends would come by or we would go and visit them.  I looked forward to these visits since these sweet old ladies fed me.

My mom was determined to care for our newly formed family and did what it took to make that happen.  She found a job at Kmart and we moved out onto our own.

I only have a handful of memories about this time.  One involves a dream I had where I was looking for a belt at Kmart and the one I fancied had Dracula on the buckle.  Once I removed the belt from the rack, it released Dracula from his imprisonment in the buckle and he stood as a giant in front of me.  Then I woke up.

About this time, I also recall having two imaginary friends.  Actually, I had one imaginary friend and my imaginary friend had a friend.  Mine was named Wolf.  He was a tall wolf with black fur, a red hat and a red tie.  His friend was a short grey wolf.  They both walked on two legs.  Wolf and I would talk to one another, but only Wolf could talk to his friend the shorter wolf.

My mom was very proactive concerning my development and education.  She would buy me workbooks that taught shapes, colors, letters and numbers.  I recall working through these books and asking her to check my work.  I developed a hunger to learn and I have her to thank for it.

When living in an apartment on North Saginaw Street, a new person entered our lives, Nic.  I used to ask mom, “Is Nic coming over today?”  Her response set my mood for the rest of the day.  She tells me I didn’t like him at first because he made me obey.  There’s an insinuation there that I’m not fond of.  I prefer to think of myself as an obedient child who was scared of this man nicknamed Bear.  I’m not sure if it was because of his quiet but intimidating demeanor or the fact that he was as hairy as a bear.  With long thick black hair down past his shoulders and a beard as voluminous, I like to think it the latter.

Nic started coming around more often and the next thing I know, he is married to my mom.  I was four years old when Nic became dad.  We spent some time back at my grandparent’s in order for my parents to save up money for a house.

I spent my time going to the corner store for a Hire’s root beer or an ice cream cone.  Our neighbor across the street had a Golden Retriever named Rusty.  Maybe he wasn’t a Golden Retriever since he wasn’t golden.  Once, I shoveled the snow off their driveway and then knocked on the door asking for the money.  They paid me, but informed me I should ask permission before doing the job next time.

I started kindergarten at Central Elementary in Mt. Morris.  I’m not sure where the town got its name.  There isn’t a mountain anywhere to be seen.  The first morning of school, the bus picked me up at the church next to our home.  The feeling of being intimidated by the rowdy older kids is deeply entrenched in my memory.  I begged my mom to take me to school in the mornings, but strangely enough was ok with riding the bus home.  Maybe it had to do with sensory overload early in the morning.  Maybe it was that I was told to find the bus after school by looking for the Bugs Bunny bus.  Each bus was labeled with a different cartoon character and Bugs was mine.  I enjoyed the ride home so much that I asked our driver to make me the very last stop.  Each day, Mr. Aiken would let me ride the bus until everyone was dropped off and then swing me back home.

Two events occurred at this point.  One, somewhere in the two years between my mom marrying my dad and my kindergarten year, my grandpa died.  His white socked feet and blue or green Dickey work pants are my only memories of him.  I spent most of my time on the floor playing as a kid.  This was my vantage point.  He had a heart attack and didn’t recover.  I believe he was fifty seven at the time.

The other occurrence was a move to Flint.  The summer after my kindergarten year, my parents bought a house through a friend on the east side of the city.  It would be in this house that the rest of my formative years would take place.

I’m running again.

We are averaging thirty to forty miles a week.  The trouble is that the first three miles causes the muscles along my shin to tighten up.  The pain is a less than pleasant sensation.  It gets so tight that I just want to stop.  I don’t, but I want to.

The funny thing is that once I get beyond three miles, the muscles relax and the pain goes away.  It gets much easier, even enjoyable.  On a six, eight or ten mile run, I feel better the second half than I do the first.  Odd, but true.

This is how hard things are.  If you can keep going through the hard part, eventually it gets easy.  The problem is that most of us quit as soon as it gets to be hard and we never get to see how easy it will eventually become.

I am told Dr. Lee Roberson, who pastored the Highland Park Baptist Church of Chattanooga, Tennessee for over forty years, was asked how he made it so long when other pastors didn’t.  He replied, “I guess when they quit, I just kept going.”

Nehemiah claimed to have the “good hand of God upon me.”

It is because of God’s hand that he was able to do what others had failed to do for over 150 years.  It is how he garnered the resources to rebuild the wall and the city.  It is how he organized the volunteer workforce.  It is how he overcame the critics and enemies of the project.

The work of God cannot be accomplished successfully without the hand of God.

If two individuals are walking toward one another, one cannot place his hand on the other for very long.

The only way a man can keep his hand on another is if they are walking in the same direction.

Here’s a hint.  God isn’t going to follow you around.

King David lived quite the life.

He is known for one very bad thing and one very good thing.  He is known for committing adultery and then having the husband of his mistress murdered.  He is also known as having a heart like God’s heart.

He was a man of courage and boldness at a young age.

He is known as a man of weakness and impulse.

He is known for great military exploits.

He is known for having great compassion and sympathy.

He is known as a humble man.

At about fifteen years of age he is anointed to be the next king of Israel and he slays a giant in defense of the name of God.

He goes to fight for King Saul and wins numerous battles.  Instead of being grateful, Saul becomes paranoid.  He knows he is losing the kingdom, but cannot bear to let it go.  He makes personal attempts to take the life of David.

David goes on the run and is pursued relentlessly for eight years.  He has opportunities to slay Saul, but chooses to let him live as a token of good will.

He loses his great army and ends up with a group of four hundred men described as being in distress, discontentment and in debt.

While navigating this difficulty, David, these four hundred men and their families set up a village of their own.  One day day while out fighting, they return to find their homes burned and their wives and children kidnapped.

Now even the four hundred men are livid with David.  They speak of stoning him.

So while on the lam, hiding out in caves, pretending he is insane, supported only by a ragtag group of men who now want to kill him, we find this verse:

2 Samuel 30:6 – And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.

What!?!?!  David encouraged himself?  He had nothing to be encouraged about.  Or did he.

Based on the life of David we understand one primary principle that can be seen in three ways.

The principle is that the only thing we have control over is our own response to difficulty.

We see in David’s life three ways this is proven.

1. David was not concerned of others’ treatment of him.
   1. When Eliab insulted him, he chose to not respond.
   2. He played harp for Saul even when Saul tried to kill him.
   3. He didn’t respond to the cussing out given him by Shimei.
2. David was only concerned with his treatment of others.
   1. He refused to be disloyal to Saul even when betrayed.
   2. He refused to kill Saul when given the chance.
   3. He was heartbroken over Absalom’s death even though he lost his life trying to steal David’s kingdom.
3. David was concerned with pleasing only God
   1. The world could hate him and if God was ok with him then he was ok.

Most of what this world and this life has to offer is out of my control, but one thing I control and that is me.  I can control my choices and my response to what happens to me.

Will I choose to live without concern over how I am being treated?

Will I choose to concern myself only with my responsibility toward others?

Will I be concerned with only pleasing God?

Our initial reaction may be that David allowed himself to be taken advantage of and become a doormat.

God said that he was a man after His own heart.

Winston and I are running in the mornings.

We run a path through the park near our home.  Certain sections of this park are out in the open while others run through some pretty dense woods.

I don’t know what it is, but these big, nasty, black flies hover in the trail about eighteen inches above the ground and they love me.  Either I smell really good and attract them or I stink to high heaven and attract them.  They love to swarm my head especially, try to land on me and then bite me.  Man, do they hurt.  For some odd reason, they leave Winston alone for the most part.

As I was running and swatting, I was thinking how much easier the run would be without them.  I’d love to just be able to focus on my posture, breathing and stride.  The flies mess all of that up.

As if running weren’t hard enough, the flies are added to the mix.

I’ve learned that anytime I am trying to grow, it is going to be incredibly difficult.  Just getting started takes incredible effort.  Then the obstacles I know about are sitting waiting for their opportunity to pounce.  On top of it all, there are things I never even considered would be added to the mix that will seek to bring discouragement.

Everything will fight your growth.

I am incredibly grateful to live when and where I do.  I believe that God created each of us for a specific purpose and made no mistakes in putting us where and when He wanted us.

I get out of bed every day knowing that I can do anything I choose to do.

I am a free man.

This is true for all of us.  Some argue the fact, but if we do find ourselves imprisoned, it is typically self imposed.  Debt, bad relationships and dead end jobs are the result of poor choices and not a lack of freedom.

In fact, our freedom allows us to correct any missteps we may have made in the past.

I am fortunate in that my calling allows me to spend every day loving people and loving people is not burdensome.

Yesterday, I mentioned how the second time we attempt something we find it easier than the initial attempt.

And yes, I am aware of the humor of the post and subject matter being made two days in a row.

In the first mention, we discussed how attempting something great is very difficult the first time it is done, but upon a second effort, it is easier.

Today, the point is that it also works in the opposite direction.

The first time you cross a boundary, it is done with great fear and concern.  But if no (seemingly) negative results occur, we feel a false sense of security.  It seems as though we have gotten away with it.

This makes it easier to do a second time.

The first affair is wrought with worry.  The second is easier.

The first crime committed is done with paranoia.  The second confidence.

The first time you backslide, it brings great concern.  The second time, you see nothing wrong with it.

Satan likes to lure us into a false sense of security when it comes to sin.

The ease brings us back time and again.

But eventually, every time, the trap closes.

I am marathon training again.

Today was the first double digit long run – eleven.  I’ve not run eleven miles in over two years.  Winston has been training with me and we were both wondering how it would go.

It went just fine.

Well, I shouldn’t speak for him, but it went fine for me.  I remember years ago the first time I had to run nine and the timidity I felt.  It seemed like such a long way to go.

This time around it was a piece of cake.  Ooh, I shouldn’t have mentioned cake.  I’m trying to clean up my eating a bit too.  Lemon cake and chocolate cake.  Where was I?

Mentally, I didn’t struggle with the distance.  You just run and keep running until you’ve covered eleven.  You know roughly how much time it will take.  You know the route you plan to go.  It’s just a matter of doing it.

Physically, I didn’t struggle.  My body just keeps a base that I can find.  The muscle memory keeps my posture correct and my stride in check.  It’s a beautiful thing.

The first time we do things, they seem daunting.  We wonder if we can do it.  If we do try, we wonder if we will ever get it done.

And then we do it.

The doing of the thing convinces us that we can do it again.  And when we do it again, we find that its easier the second time.

Beloved, let us love one another:for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love

Love is God creating man in His image.

Love is God giving light to the world.

Love is God giving man a day to work and a night to rest.

Love is God giving man refreshing, cool water to drink and the oceans to gaze upon.

Love is creating an amazing planet with the lilies of the field and the deer in the woods to bring wonderment and joy.

Love is blessing man with a strong and healthy body with which to work, run and play.

Love is giving man a woman and woman a man to share the hours, the days and the years

Love is giving him the ability to look into the eyes of his woman, ears to hear her whisper she loves him and a mouth to kiss her with.

Love is the work given to bring meaning and accomplishment to our existence.

Love is the correction offered when boundaries are crossed.

Love is the second chance given when our character falls short.

Love is the clothing of animal skins to replace our fig leaves.

Love is the curse to help us feel the pain that God feels when we trouble Him.

Love is the promise of the Redeemer to come.

Love is Gods promises to those who will follow Him.

Love is His faithfulness to keep those promises.

Love is God’s goodness extending to even those who refuse to follow Him.

Love is His presence when others have turned their back on us.

Love is His knowledge of truth when others have lied about us.

Love is His willingness to wrestle with us for as long as it takes.

Love is His unwillingness to leave us as we are.

Love is the dream He gives us for the future.

Love is making that dream happen even when it seems like a nightmare.

Love is bringing reconciliation with those we thought were gone forever.

Love is the praise of those who once scorned us.

Love is His presence while in bondage.

Love is His ear hearing our cry for help.

Love is returning to us that which we had to let go.

Love is provision when its availability is scarce.

Love is replenishment when its almost gone.

Love is the challenge to do what you fear.

Love is standing up to the enemies of your people.

Love is being true to your friends even when they are not true to you.

Love is refusing to throw a rock when a rock has been thrown at you.

Love is sticking with your people even if it means not getting what you wanted.

Love is leading people from the front and not commanding from the rear.

Love is meeting the needs of family.

Love is not ruling someone out because of their age or size.

Love is stepping up even if no one else will.

Love is graciously sharing credit with those who deserve it.

Love is realizing that a position does not make one a leader and a leader doesn’t need a position.

Love is being broken hearted when a friend falls.

Love is being broken hearted when an enemy falls.

Love is refusing to tear another down in order to elevate oneself.

Love is unwilling to allow time to dissipate a burden.

Love is sacrificial.

Love is enduring a hardship to meet a need.

Love is protective of that which it built from enemies seeking to destroy.

Love is choosing to spend time building friends than answering critics.

Love is refusing to do wrong in order to get a chance to do right.

Love is abstaining from using someone else as a shield.

Love is trusting that God knows best regardless of our circumstances.

Love is offering mercy to the guilty.

Love is preparing our children for the future.

Love is educating the simple.

Love is warning people of trouble ahead.

Love is willing to cry.

Love is thinking creatively to solve a problem rather than giving up.

Love is peaceful not contentious.

Love is forgiving.

Love is submissive.

Love is generous.

Love is not forceful.

Love is patient.

Love is present.

Love is surrendered.

Love is an action.

Love is verbalized.

Love is ok with overcoming obstacles.

Love is timely.

Love is not dependent upon reception.

Love is color blind.

Love is obedient.

Love is meeting needs.

Love is dying to self.

Love is time given.

Love is telling the truth for the purpose of helping.

Love is making sure the one you love knows.

Love is the giving of your life.

Love is Jesus dying for every man and woman.

Love is God becoming man.

Love is hopeful.

Love is positive.

Love is optimistic.

Love is fail proof.

Love is prepared.

Love is unashamed to be expressed.

Love is bold.

Love is making up for shortcomings.

Love is never expectant of reimbursement.

Love is Heaven.

Love is comforting.

Love is warm.

Love is accepting.

Love is open arms.

Love is receptive of anyone who comes.

Love is not a respecter of persons.

Love is comforting.

Love is perfect.

Love is God.