Joel Stiff's Adventure

Spending time together.

You may hold on to what you had if there is a period of time where you are away from someone, but it will not grow until you are reunited.

Strong marriages are made by spending time together.

Parents grow close to their children only by spending time together.

Working relationships are better when time is spent together.

Who do you want to be close to?

Better schedule some time together then.

We were watching a sitcom this week and the storyline involved a young lady going on an internship for the summer to New York City. Her boyfriend was wanting to come along to “keep her safe.”

Living arrangements notwithstanding, she decided to break the news that she didn’t want him coming along. Her reason? “I just think you would be a distraction while I’m trying to focus on my career.”

We seem to have it backwards. Earning a living is a means to an end. The end is the family and friends that God brings into our lives.

People are more important than things.

The first pet we acquired as a family was a pretty cool cat named Jack O’lantern. I suppose he’s been with us for almost ten years. We had him when we brought our Siberian Husky puppy named Benjamin Barker home. Because he came in as a pup, Ben didn’t hassle Jack much at all, but it was still an adjustment for Jack. Unfortunately, Ben was killed by a lightning strike in our back yard.

It was also during this time that Nicole started breeding goats. So Jack was introduced to Ethel, Ginger and Bella as well as their offspring. Winston brought twenty-five chickens into the mix and Nicole added a pair of rabbits which bred many, many rabbits.

Jack stayed cool.

Two more Huskies came along and a new kitten named Charlie joined the family. Jack had an adjustment period, but maintained his composure.

At this stage, the goats, chickens, rabbits and Huskies have all moved on, but Winston added a German Shepherd named Dakota and a lab/newfoundland mix named Bentley.

As I write this, Dakota is asleep on one side of the living room and Bentley is asleep on the other side. Jack is deeply asleep on the couch right above Bentley. Charlie is somewhere else, hiding out. He’s not as flexible as Jack.

Jack has figured it out. Many different individuals have entered his life. Some have come and gone. Others are still here with him. In the end, he is the constant. He’s learned to adapt. He hasn’t tried to change any of the others, nor has he let them change him. Jack has maintained his cool.

He’s flexible like that.

The curse of adults is can’t.

Children do not view the world or live with such limitations. Henry Ford said, “Whether or not you think you can, you are right.” Adults put amazing amounts of limitations on their lives. As a pastor, people will come to me with a problem looking for a solution. More often than not, the advice I dispense is met with a litany of reasons why it will not work. They are trapped.

Every day I meet people who can’t get a job, can’t save money, can’t be physically active. Then I see people with two and three jobs, people who save even on smaller incomes and athletes running on plastic legs.

I talk to people and share ideas about how to do something different and I am told, “That would be great, but you can’t do that.”

Why not?

The experiment was conducted of placing a group of monkeys in a room with a bunch of bananas tied to the top of a tall pole. As the monkeys climbed to get to the bananas, a hose would spray water on them knocking them to the ground. Once all the monkeys had been knocked down repeatedly, they stopped striving for the bananas. One by one the monkeys were replaced with a new monkey. The new monkey would try to go for the bananas and the others would pull him down before he even had a chance to climb. Eventually, all of the monkeys had been replaced. None of these had ever been sprayed with the hose. Yet, anytime one of them would attempt to climb the pole, another would pull it down. Why? They didn’t even know why. It’s just what had always been taught to them.

I wonder if it would change the world if parents stopped saying “no” so much.

Of course, I probably shouldn’t be saying things like that.

The old saying is, “those who can, do and those who can’t, teach.”

I don’t necessarily agree with the sentiment. I believe the best teachers are those who have done something worth passing down to another.

It would be better changed to, “those who can, do and those who can’t, criticize.”

It’s another one of those ways we divide people. There are two kinds of people in the world, those who create and those who criticize the creators and their work. Find someone who is creating something to benefit others and right behind him, you will find someone criticizing what he has done, what he is doing or how he is doing it.

The reason the critic even exists is because there are people willing to listen to him. It’s interesting really. The food critic cannot cook like the chef, but criticizes the creation. The movie critic cannot produce and direct a film, but criticizes the project. The armchair fan was never given consideration for the coaching position, but knows all of the reasons why the team isn’t doing well this season.

Critics exist because there are other critics wanting to know what she has to say. Critics have their own circles and run with people of similar mindset. The trouble comes when creators fail to do the same. Instead of listening to what the critics are saying, the creator should be sharing ideas with other creators.

Shun the critics in your life and focus on the work. Where no wood is, the fire goeth out and where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.

The Bible teaches that a merry heart doeth good like a medicine. Reader’s Digest says laughter is the best medicine. It’s the same idea and it’s true. Today I was watching Spongebob with Nicole and we were having a great time. I have learned something about myself as a husband and father. I love to hear my family laugh. I mean truly laugh out of hilarity and joy. They each have a genuine laugh that I can recognize unique to each one of them. It’s not only my own laughter that does me good, it is the laughter of those whom I love.

As you go through your day, if you will bring joy to others, you will get joy in return.

If we seek to bring someone around to our way of thinking, we would do better to point out the benefits of our ideas rather than attack the ideas of the other.

Each generation compares their own with the next.

Usually, the consensus is that the next generation is softer, weaker and generally not near as capable or responsible. My grandparent’s said it about my parent’s and my parent’s said it about mine. My generation is saying it about the next.

We base this judgment on how we would decide certain matters compared to how they are deciding. The trouble with the comparison is that there is a generation worth of wisdom and experience separating us. We are using 40, 50 and 60 year old brains to solve problems that 10, 20 and 30 year olds are tackling.

Don’t be too concerned about the next generation. They are going to do just fine. It is facing challenges head on that gives them the very experience and wisdom they need to be as smart as you.

There is not a single problem or situation from which you cannot recover.

Sometimes I hear myself complaining and what my complaints are about.

Traffic, the weather, the dogs tracking in mud, and high gas prices are among the complaints I make and hear others make.

We complain about such insignificant things. A serious problem might put things into perspective.

It’s interesting to notice that regardless of how blessed we are, we still complain. We will complain no matter how good we have it.

What that tells us is that complaining has more to do with who we are than what our circumstances are.