Joel Stiff's Adventure

Anyone can show up one time.

Anyone can be there when the camera is on.

Anyone can participate in that one big event when everyone is watching.

But what do you do when no one is watching? What do you do all the rest of the time? What do you do tomorrow when the camera isn’t running? Do you go to the places where no one will see you, where no one will know what you’re doing?

The people in the spotlight may get the credit, but the people that consistently serve out of it are truly making a difference.

As a kid, I was promoted from the second to the fourth grade.

I was in a classroom that housed both second and third grade students. As a result, I learned and completed the work of both grades in a single year. My parents and the school administration decided to promote me straight to the fourth grade.

Once I arrived, I came to the realization that I was a year smaller and shorter than everyone else in my class. It didn’t affect me socially, but it did athletically. I was smaller, weaker and slower than all the other boys. This didn’t come into play if we were just playing a pick up game, but in the organized sporting world, the disparity was obvious. I didn’t make the cut for the team on which all my friends played. I was the least skilled on the team that did pity me enough to put me on their roster.

I simply wasn’t very good. I never won a trophy. Not even a ribbon. It was exactly as it should be. Winners in a competition get the trophies and the losers get nothing.

I was good academically. I received academic trophies and ribbons. In high school, I even received an academic letter.

Our children today are receiving trophies, awards and accolades even when they fail to perform. Is it any wonder why they expect the world to celebrate them simply for existing? If you reward someone for simply breathing air, they are going to get pretty upset if it ever stops.

In the real world, trophies go to the winner, accolades go to achievers and bonuses get paid to producers.

1. Does this need to be said?
2. Does this need to be said by me?
3. Does this need to be said by me right now?

In yet another manner my generation is losing it’s collective mind, we are trying to do away with summer.

I started noticing it when on staff at a church and Christian school in Georgia. One year school began the third week of August. Soon after we left to come to Michigan, it jumped to the second week of August.

It was announced that the town we live in will start going to a year round school calendar in two years. There will be more breaks throughout the year and a much shorter summer break.

Just yesterday, my sister-in-law who teaches in a Christian school, announced her last day of summer yesterday, July 29th. Teachers come in early in order to train and prepare their classrooms.

May I ask what we are doing? Why are we cutting summer short? Are we tired of parenting and find it easier to ship our children off to strangers? Do we truly think more hours in a stuffy classroom will benefit their lives? What happened to summer jobs and experiences that can only be found outdoors?

It is the continued worship of institutionalized learning.

Kids learn more and better when put it real life scenarios that allow them to see successes and failures. Summer break provides more of these types of opportunities than sitting behind a desk does.

We have been home schooling for two years now. Our school year begins the day after Labor Day and dismisses on May 29th because Winston’s birthday is the 30th and he absolutely must be finished with his work by then or he will lose his mind. Good for him. Phineas and Ferb would be proud. We are certain to get our 104 days in.

I would love to put these parents and administrators in a time machine and go back to when they were still in school for the sole purpose of suggesting year round school for them. I wonder what the response would be.

Go ahead and lock your kids in a room and chain them to a desk year round.

Mine will be living life.

My wife is a great passenger.

When I am driving, she never questions the route I take. Even if it is a place we frequent often and I choose a different route. She is just along for the ride.

I am not such a good passenger.

When I am riding, I will often make suggestions as to a better route, a detour or question the driver’s choices.

The driver has the steering wheel for a reason. It is his job to get to the destination of choice. It is not my place to take over. I don’t have the wheel.

People can get in touch with me a number of ways: phone, text, email, facebook, twitter, this blog, linkedin, google groups and even by regular mail. Shannon noticed the other day just how frequently my phone goes off. She asked how I get anything done. It’s a good question. When that phone or computer dings, the natural reaction is to check and see what it is. The temptation is to take care of the need to get it out of the way. But when we do that, we are giving the wheel to someone else.

If you want to get to where you want to go, you have to do the driving.

A mother who spent her life loving and caring for her family passed. She spent years sacrificing and serving. She lived honorably.

A father who spent his life working, providing and protecting his family is no longer with us. He worked hard and most often kept his hurts to himself to be the strength his family needed.

A teacher died yesterday. Someone who loved others and with patience imparted knowledge and truth to them.

A pastor was lost yesterday. One who led God’s people to love and serve one another is gone from us.

A little child went to be with Jesus yesterday. One who brought joy and laughter was taken all too soon.

But you aren’t hearing about them on the news.

The one thing you need to know is that there is no one thing.

I saw a book in Barnes and Nobles yesterday entitled, “The One Thing.” It proceeded to state that there is only one thing you need to do to be successful.

That couldn’t be further from the truth. There isn’t one thing. There are hundreds of things. Hundreds of things are necessary if you will live a life of success (success being defined as balanced, honorable and pleasing to God.)

If there was only one thing, that would have been the only book in the bookstore.

One thing is the easy way out. The cop out. The quick fix.

But then again, trying to sell books that tell people the truth aren’t as popular as the quick fix.

Every so often, I have to drop into the At&t store to make a change to our phone plan.

I dread doing this because I know I have to set aside a minimum of an hour to accomplish anything. The employees are kind and friendly, but the process is painfully slow.

Another similar experience takes place at Harley-Davidson dealerships. I once sat with my brother for over eight hours waiting to close the deal on a new purchase. They actually fed us we were there so long. Harley is equally bad in the parts and service departments. I can order something online and have it in days. Harley takes weeks. I often wonder if it is intentional.

I am puzzled by what these companies are trying to accomplish. You are not earning my loyalty the longer I am in your store. In fact, quite the opposite. I loathe hanging around waiting for your people to do something that could be accomplished in fractions of the time.

Making me feel trapped doesn’t wear me down into surrendering my future business to you. It only makes me want to get away from you that much faster.

In John 21, Peter and six other disciples go fishing.

I have heard a few mention that Peter’s intention was to quit and return to his old way of life. I’m not necessarily sure I believe this. Everything about Peter actually says otherwise. He followed Jesus most closely during His ministry and even during His trials. He was heartbroken after his denial of the Lord. He went to the tomb to see if Jesus had resurrected. In the end of his life, he was crucified upside down.

This is not the track record of a quitter. Rather, it is the track record of a man filled with passion for His Lord.

So what’s up with the fishing? He went fishing for the same reason that any of us does, to clear his head. Sometimes you’ve just gotta get away from everything and destress. He actually learned this from Jesus. The Lord often went up into the mountain alone. He prayed and cleared His head.

Two take aways: one, give people space when they need it and two, take some time when you need it.

The problem with being a problem solver is that you cannot solve all of the problems that come your way.

Having a heart to help is a great thing. The Bible says that we are to bear one another’s burdens. When someone is under a load and friends come to help share the load, life is made easier for us all.

We hurt ourselves, however, when we try to carry someone’s entire load for them. Maybe our heart is so big we desire to carry others. Maybe they have a tendency to lean a little more on us than they should. Either way, we are not made to carry more than one load.

Stress, anxiety, mental and physical breakdowns are all evidences of trying to carry too much.

Jesus said, His yoke was easy and His burden is light. If it’s anything other than that, we are doing it wrong.

Wanting to help people by solving their problems is a good thing.

Thinking you have to solve every problem for every person is going to kill you.