Joel Stiff's Adventure

Saying no to that one more slice of pizza.

Saying no when my body wants me to hit the snooze.

Saying no when temptation to do wrong comes.

Saying no to a child so she grows up with good boundaries.

Saying no when tempted to break my schedule.

Saying no when tempted to break my budget.

Saying no to those good things so that I can say yes to the best things.

Then, the stars and constellations guided men.

Now, we have maps and GPS.

Then, God spoke to His prophets.

Now, we have the Bible and the Holy Spirit.

God will guide and direct you, but you have to go to the right sources for direction.

They tell me it’s better to change your oil every 3000 miles than have to change your engine if you don’t.

The old saying is, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

This is the premise of living by biblical principles.  God gives us many ways in the Bible to avoid pain.  Principles of omission – don’t do these things and you’ll avoid trouble.  Principles of commission – do these things and you’ll avoid trouble.

A preacher’s job is to preach these principles.  Help people avoid the pain of sin.

Some do.

Other’s don’t

Be one of the smart ones because there’s nothing we can do for you once you’ve ignored them.

My head has been busting lately.

I’ve been stressed out, feeling pressured, irritable, angry, short tempered and quite a bear to live with.

So today I took advantage of the unseasonably warm weather, got on the bike and just rode.

And rode and rode and rode.

I talked to the Lord a lot, but no one else.

Sometimes when your life is 24 / 7 people, you need to go spend some time alone.

Shannon is a big deal.

I remember when I suggested we leave her home, friends and family to come to Michigan and start Lighthouse.  There was no hesitation.  She backed the idea immediately.  Once we arrived in town, she knocked as many doors as I did before that first service.  Her boldness in sharing the gospel is unparalleled.

She has used facebook as a ministry.  Sure, she uses it to keep up with those friends and family she left behind, but it is more to her than that.  She uses it to encourage.  Whether it is a simple status update or her participation in ladies groups, she helps lift spirits.

The fascinating thing is that she encourages while struggling herself.  She sets aside her burdens to help another carry theirs.  Recently, someone recognized this and asked her to write a blog article for them.  Whereas I force myself on people through my writing, people actually ask to hear from her.  A Christian periodical is picking up the article and planing on running it soon.

I’m thinking of retiring and riding the coattails of my preacher wife.

Jehu had just been anointed king over Israel.

He immediately gathered troops and rode furiously to Jezreel.  A couple horsemen approached and asked if he came in peace.  He encouraged them to join his ranks if they wanted to live.  They did.  He rode on.  Joram, the son of Jezebel comes and meets them and asks if Jehu came in peace.  Jehu said there would be no peace because of the idolatry and witchcraft of Jezebel.  Joram retreated and was shot in the back with an arrow by Jehu.

Jehu arrives and sees Jezebel in the upper window of a tower.  He tells the eunuchs serving her there to throw her out of the window if they wanted to live.  They do.  She doesn’t.  The blood from the fall splatters upon the walls and all over the horses as they trample her body under their feet.  As her crushed, bloody body lies in the street, the dogs come and lick her blood and eat her flesh.

All that remains is her head, hands and feet.  There is no grave to visit Jezebel.  The dogs used her remains as fertilizer throughout the land.

Every generation complains that the generation following is worthless and will ultimately be the ruin of the nation.

I don’t believe this for one minute.  If I did, then I must admit myself as a failure in not doing my job as a parent and pastor.

I do see a troubling trend, however, that rests solely on the shoulders of parents.

The greatest struggle the next generation will have is of self sufficiency.

The helicopter parenting method will hold many young people back from their God given potential.  God said in Genesis that children were to leave their father and mother and cleave unto a spouse.  These things are being done at later ages in life than ever.  This means that adults that should be shouldering adult responsibilities are not doing so and thus remaining children.

We have heard the stories of young men and women with bachelor’s degrees and even master’s returning home to live with mom and dad.  These people are not paying rent, not working in their field of study and even relying on parents to pay student loan payments.  That is not adulthood.

Even worse, some parents are showing up with junior at job interviews.  I wonder if mom is wiping off the breakfast syrup from junior’s cheek with her spit before he goes in to get his big boy job.

Whose fault is this?  Mom and dad are to blame.  Due to the idolatry of children that is parenting in 2015, we are failing to let go.  We don’t want to see our precious junior out in the world where he might suffer a few hard knocks.

Instead of allowing their child to fail a class due to lack of study, they are at the school begging the teacher to give him a make up exam.  Parents of teens will not let their kids stay home alone at an age when some young men were already married, working a trade and having children.  Responsibilities like schoolwork, money management, jobs and driving are put off, not because Junior couldn’t handle them, but because mom and dad either don’t think they are capable or just can’t bear to let go.

I shudder to think of the response these parents would have to the knowledge of the mother eagle who trades her soft, downy nest for one full of thorns and pickers lest it be so comfortable the baby eaglet doesn’t want to leave.  And just in case that baby doesn’t get the hint, it is shoved out by mama eagle.  It’s either fly or splat at that point.

If you want to raise a child to adulthood by the time they should be leaving home, do two things:

1. Do not do for the child what he or she can do for himself or herself.

My son is 15.  I do not clean his room for him.  He can clean it himself or live in a pig sty.  We do not make sure he uses deodorant.  If he wants to stink, he can suffer the social consequences of such decisions.

My daughter is 16.  I do not pick up after her.  She can pick up after herself.  We do not remind her of her appointments and obligations.  She has all manner of technology to help her stay on top of her obligations.

Their mother and I do not do their schoolwork for them.  We do not brush their hair.  We do not wipe their bottoms.

We expect them to do for themselves what they are capable of doing.  We do help them with things that they are not yet capable of doing.

2. Give them responsibility as they need it.

Weight lifters build muscle by adding a little more weight than they can comfortably handle.  Children are made into adults by giving them a little more responsibility than they currently have.  You don’t wait until they can handle it to give it to them.  You give it to them and expect them to handle it.

Unless you’re the kind of parent with lowered expectations of the ability of your child.

If so, I hope you don’t mind a 40 year old man living in your basement hoping he gets the house when you die.

Breakfast from Starlight Diner.  Pancakes, sausage patties, bacon, biscuits and gravy and orange juice.

Lunch is pizza from Little Caesars, pepperoni and sausage, Marios, pepperoni and sausage and Pizzapapalis, pepperoni Chicago style deep dish.

Afternoon consists of mashed potatoes and spicy fried chicken from Popeye’s, with a biscuit.

Dinner from Longhorn Steakhouse.  Chicken strips, 12 oz. Renegade sirloin steak, mashed potatoes and bread.

Man, I’m hungry.

As a pastor, the only job I have is to lead people to keep their focus on the Lord.

As a pastor, the hardest job I have is to lead people to keep their focus on the Lord.

Distractions, sin and apathy are my biggest obstacles.