You’re trying too hard

 

I went to Kmart today. I was buying pillows.

A friend of mine says that stepping into Kmart is like walking through the doors of a time machine into the 70’s. The doors are the same. The floor tile is the same. They still have those massive, round, air vents on the ceiling. 

Kmart, as a business, is dying. I don’t think this is a secret. Sears picked them up a few years ago if memory serves me right. The store had very few customers. That is why I go there. It’s never busy.

As a result, they are trying hard to get business – too hard.

As I stood in line, I listened to the cashier run through a number of promotions with the lady currently being served. There is a rewards card that ties in to a number of businesses including Kmart and Sears. She even mentioned how they will randomly throw cash rewards on the card without notice. They signed her up for this card, offered a discover card, asked for her email and phone number. They even tried to get her to add their app to her smartphone.

I was exhausted and dreading my turn at the register. I considered smothering myself to death with the pillows.

When my time came, I cut her off at the pass and said I just want to pay for my pillows and be on my way. Don’t worry, I was kind. I was given four different receipts about twenty-four inches long in total. All for four pillows.

The prolonged interaction at the register, being inundated with countless questions and the probing for personal info is enough to make me want to stay away forever.

In their effort to draw and keep customers, it just makes me never want to go back.

They are trying too hard.

Remember the duo pictured above? The little dog was so desperate for the big dogs acceptance and approval that the big dog often backhanded him while snarling, “Shaddap!”

That’s how I feel. Kmart, shaddap. If you want me to come back to your store, give me some space.